Lockdown & Domestic Violence

By Sheikh Mohammed Kamaludin

PART ONE Marriage

The institution of marriage was initiated by the Creator of the heavens and the earth, and everything that exists between them, in which a  social contractual agreement is established between a man and a woman based upon prescribed rights and obligations after they have gone through a formal process of courtship, and investigation, and if they are satisfied with their findings they will go through a marriage ceremony where the woman is given in marriage to the prospective husband witnessed by two men and the payment of a gift to the bride. In it there are enormous benefits for mankind such as the social companionship where peace and tranquillity are found, associated with the lawful intimate relationship between the husband and his wife through which the lawful reproduction of the human race is insured.

However, to achieve these benefits there has to be a purpose for entering into this relationship, and the purpose can only be based upon reason or desire.

If the marriage is based upon desire then clearly this relationship is doomed to be problematic since desire is a temporary state of mind led by instinct, which is propelled by pleasure and pain, lost and intolerance, and if there should be a problem in this relation there would be no point of reference to achieve a solution,  and this is the main attribute of the animals, as the poet says “ I came like water and like wind I go. Therefore, anyone who is motivated by desire becomes a predator.

And the proof is based on the fact that, when Allah created the animals, he gave them desire but no reason. On the other hand, when He created the human, He gave them both desire and reason, and when He created the Angels, He gave them reason but no desire.

Therefore, the functionality of all animals is based upon desire, and the functionality of the Angels is based upon reason, so they hear, and they obey.

That being said, when a marriage is based upon reason, both parties before getting married would have gone through the correct protocols of investigating each other from the point of view of lineage, wealth, piety, cultural and character based upon the guidance drawn from their own religion or culture, since each group has got their own specific source of reference. As for the Muslims, their source of reference is drawn from the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH)

Eventually, if unfortunately, there should arise a problem during the marriage that cannot be solved by the husband and the wife, instead of resorting to abuse and violence the wise husband or wife would seek arbitration from the Walli or the knowledgeable people in their community.

As for the marriage relationship that is based upon desires and becomes problematic the couple would have lost the ability to compromise for a solution that is based on reason, since whenever one’s desire supersedes their reason than such a person’s behavior become that of an animal.

Therefore, if a person’s reason is stronger than his desire, he behaves like an angel, but if his desire is stronger than his reason he behaves like an animal.

To be continuous. Part two Lockdown

 

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